“It’s interesting that most gadgets are called ‘iPhone’ and ‘iPod,’ with that ‘i’ prefix, which is ego. But most creativity is not ego-led—a lot of it comes from the unconscious. So if you’re always checking your email or updating your Instagram profile, you’re not just looking out the window, daydreaming. You’ve got to let the subconscious in—that’s my main message to the world. I sound like I’ve been reading too many self-help books, don’t I?”
“I feel like it’s not about the music anymore—it’s about how many friends you have on Facebook and your Instagram pictures. I hate that. It’s such bad publicity for music and for true artists, and I’ll try to fight as hard as I can to not be like that.”
“[PUAs] figure out what makes charming assholes charming, and then they seek to bestow that same charm upon non-assholes.”
The worst advice, and perhaps the most well intentioned when it comes to meeting the opposite sex is to ‘be yourself’. With respect, it’s important not to fake who you are, but to work on yourself so that you don’t need a woman/man to define you.
Such desperation feels like the emotional equivalent of when you swim out to someone drowning and they pull you down.
The Rules and The Game are two sides of the same coin, based in standard biological and cultural frameworks of male and female psychology and sexuality. I think we’re too complicated to reduce ourselves to a set of rules.
I’m writing about a PUA, although he’s certainly more from the self help perspective because I don’t think a misogynistic emotionally crippled leading man works that well for me as a writer.
Who shows men/boys how to be? Part of that is attracting a mate, because there’s not the communication structures that women have, is there? We’re disconnected from our fathers, emotionally or physically, there’s no rites of passage for manhood now unless you include the corrupted frathouse or military service(between that and my grandfather and uncle, I came out of it ok)
Yes there are PUA courses that are troubling. There are aspects of ourselves that are troubling, irrespective of gender or culture. It’s interesting that a woman can say things like this about a group of men, that manages to link together disparate cultural events into a thesis that doesn’t really hold up to scrutiny. It’s journalism with all the memory of a goldfish, and very little research done to it. A shame as Freeman is consistent in her criticisms generally. This feels like a first draft, and not the best use of her abilities.
Cultural subjugations of women and their sexuality have existed from footbinding and FGM through to cultural prohibition. It’s created a dissonance that’s inspiring in terms of the release and the emotional sweep that although I find abhorrent in real life, presents interesting story possibilities. In a utopia, there would be no art and you work with the tensions that you find interesting.
I look forward to a point where we’re just sexual beings who share and receive pleasure without judgement. I presume I am not alone in that. Surrender over submission is a good way to put it, and seduction is something that you do with another person, not to them.
I want to cry, loud and wet with the pain of love.
Katherine Dunn, Geek Love.
On a healthy planet, gender is a continuum.
It is fluid. The needs we are born with do not have to fit in defined boxes orthogonal to heteronormativity.
Be exposed. Be open. Be who you want to be.
It will never hurt as much as starving your humanity of oxygen.
Which is to say, yes you are experiencing a chemical surge that feels like love because you’ve fucked your brains out.
But that doesn’t make you stupid. Just a human explorer.
Warren Ellis, Trees.