I’m conscious of how my sexual responses and presuppositions work as a masculine male, the physical and emotional cues and reactions that I have when I am intimate. I have written about that before but what interested me was that there was simultaneously a wealth and a deficit of writing about it in comparison to women’s responses. I even write to that cycle, shape the work around it so that it works on a number of levels for me.
As I write, I have to amuse myself first, intrigue and entertain myself so that in turn, that hopefully comes across to whoever reads it.
This sounds more calculating than it actually is. Women’s responses are more interesting to write about, the nature and the physical responses of it are a challenge that I enjoy answering. I aspire to a physical and emotional eloquence that I can only reach on the page, not that my own sexual responses are dumb or stilted but they are different to a woman’s. Women have a rich, secret wildness within them that society does a great deal to keep down but it finds it’s way to the surface no matter how much law, culture, religion and legislation try to hammer it back beneath.
That’s my challenge as a writer. I never know if I am successful in that regard, but I try regardless.
You have to give your gift regardless of whether it is received or not.