beauty, loneliness, love, poetry, sex, women

Sometimes I Feel Lonely

Sometimes I feel all alone, I have friends and I have family, But they all are too busy for me. Sometimes I feel so lonely, I’m surrounded by people all day, But none of them make me feel wanted. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one, In the relationship of two. I’m here&present while […]

via Sometimes I Feel (lonely) — all of me

beauty, creative writing, loneliness, love, poetry, smoking, writing

An appalling romance

smoke by

smoke by

It’s not like

Quitting will stall the inevitable

But stood there

Watching people walk by

A ghost dressed in flesh

A chapter read between drags

A snatch of conversation

A pair of eyes

That will stay with me

For a long time afterwards

The burn and the smooth

Tingle as my thoughts

Turn their keys and start

Their engines

I’d share with you

Holding it to your lips

A guilty pleasure

Because everything you love

Will kill you

If you do it properly

Bathed in sunlight

Huddled against the cold

Sheltered from the teeming drizzle

All seasons,

Sometimes when everyone else

Has turned away

It remains

And despite all the evidence

A cancerous, appalling romance

That never lets me down

Time measured out


So carefully

And none of it



I love Christmas
If you’re alone or struggling
Then I extend an invitation for you
To know that I love you
For the simple fact
That we’re all on this planet
I raise a glass to you


Engagement and Isolation

I have come away from social media for a time. 

I am finding it surprising how much more time I have, for something that is essentially voluntary and free. I think, for me, a lot of it was it’s very efficient at giving you that jolt of recognition and connection like a rush of sugar but I wonder if it actually adds to your isolation. It certainly did to mine, sifting for interesting tweets and links with the same fervour that a porn addict has. I am not saying I won’t go back, but for now, it’s good to just come away from it a bit. 

Most of the people who you interact with won’t especially notice you’re gone, unless the friendship is sustainable away from that. The internet creates a lot of acquaintances, digital interactions that have all the appearance of friendship but nothing of the depth. That isn’t to say I do not enjoy it, but I want some time on my own, this aside. 

It’s about giving space to yourself, some time alone in the digital sense so that you can figure things out for yourself. I have to learn to be less passive about such things and then when I do engage, it will be on a more assertive, engaging level than previously. I want to have things to say and show people, rather than sharing posters that express an opinion that I want people to think I have.