A science fiction/erotica series about the limits of personal freedom, desire and technology.
She had been squalling all day. A quiet irritation and restlessness had lent an edge to her demeanour. He had noticed it as he put the cup of tea down on the table that it would build and burn her out then exhaust her. He could ignore it but he saw how it hurt her and wanted to do something about it
The responsibility stirred him. She picked up the pencil and continued to sketch. Another issue of their comic book, working from his script but her pencils and inks. Last month, they had gone to the movie premiere and laughed at how surreal it felt to see the late night conversations come alive on the screen. He loved her work, and had finished the script for the next issue then spent sat at the kitchen table and watched her work as he rolled another cigarette.
She caught him looking at her.
‘What?’ she said.
Her voice was sharp.
He watched her face as he lit his cigarette and sat back in his chair.
‘You’ve been restless all morning.’ he said.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
‘I’m not looking to define it but just acknowledging its there.’ he said.
She huffed and returned her attention to the page. He picked up his coffee and drank then took a puff on his cigarette which made his head swim with nicotine as he watched her. He could have gone home, which was something of a gordian knot approach to take but he enjoyed being around her. She was a test as much as a celebration. Most of the time, he watched her like the weather and dressed his soul according to what the sky of her predicted.
It looked like rain this afternoon.
He put the cigarette out and went to the sink, washed his hands and dried them as he turned and looked at her.
‘I think you’re being a brat.’ he said.
There was a playfulness to his voice which made her look up and pout. Her eyes narrowed and she set the pencil down.
‘No, I’m not. I just get like this sometimes. It’s not you.’
He walked over to her and shook his head.
‘I know it’s not. But I know it needs addressing.’ he said.
She fought the small smile which burst on her lips like a sunrise. He tamped down his own pleasure in seeing the unspoken assertion of her playing along. Her depths were something he enjoyed, and no matter what else was going on between them, they played well together.
‘Oh does it now?’ she said.
‘Yes it does. Now I have a responsibility to deal with it He said
She turned her head and pouted. He reached his right hand, palmed her jaw and splayed his fingers across her cheek. He felt her smile vibrate down into his hand as he turned her head towards him. There was no force in it, but there was power, easy and calm as she looked at him, pouting with a playful irritation.
She grunted and tried to turn her head but he held her firm, grimacing as he put his other hand at the back of her head and gripped her hair hard enough to make her draw breath.
‘Stand up.’ he said.
She pushed the chair back and he pulled her hair again, made her gasp before she pouted and tried to pull away.
‘I’ve been good, haven’t I?.’ she said.
He shook his head and squeezed her jaw between his fingers as he stared at her.
‘I decide that.’ he said.
She smiled, breaking character for a moment and he grinned before returning to an expression of brooding imperiousness. The delicacy of the pleasure he took was in its control. His heart thumped in his chest as he let go of her and took her left arm by the wrist.
He walked her to the living room and let go.
‘I want you to go and stand in the corner and think about how you’ve behaved.’ he said.
His attention was rewarded with watching the delicious micro-conflict, the missed notes played often enough to become phrases in the symphony of her. She shuddered with delight as she lowered her head.
‘That’s not fair.’ she said.
He sighed and pointed towards the corner.
‘Do as you’re told.’ he said.
She snarled and turned away. He reached out and took her by the wrist and walked her to the corner, then put his hand on the small of her back, underneath her sweater and guided her into the corner.
‘How long for?’ she said.
He leaned over and whispered in her ear.
‘Every time you ask, it gets longer.’ he said.
She giggled and straightened up, put her hands by her side and pouted.
‘OK.’ she said.
He got his coffee and brought through an ashtray and his pouch of tobacco, sat on the couch and rolled a cigarette. The air sung with tension but he absorbed it, letting the incipient vibration gather strength in the pit of his stomach. Looking at her was a pleasure and she moved her hips from side to side, knowing the thrill it gave them both.
‘Don’t fidget.’ he said.
He lit the cigarette and decided to make her wait the time it took him to smoke it.
‘I’m not.’ she said.
He chuckled and watched her, the burn in his lungs from the cigarette mingled with the slow build of his arousal. She stood in the corner, trembling in silence and when he crushed the cigarette out in the ashtray, he stood up and walked over to her.
She started to turn around but he told her to stay still. His voice was thick, a growl from his belly. They spoke a language of playful restraint and tension, and for all its art, it was a primal state of grace between them.
He walked over to her and brought his arms around her from behind. His right hand rested on her stomach whilst his left hand came up and cupped her chin in his hand. She pressed back against him, found him hard and ready as she pushed her backside into his crotch, revelling in the hot squeeze of his arms around her. His breath was warm against her cheek.
‘Have I been good?’ she said.
He grunted and slipped his right hand under the waistband of her cotton pants and stroked the crotch of her panties. There was a warmth seeping through the cloth and he petted it with his fingertips. She sighed and pushed back again. He grunted and turned her head, brushed his lips against hers which made her give a small moan from the back of her throat.
He plucked her underwear to one side and opened her with his fingers. She sighed as he pressed his index finger into the liquid heat of her, testing the unspoken assertion of her mood with a small circle which made her groan.
Their lips danced and played with one another as he stroked her in small circles. She brought her arm around behind her, urged him closer as though she could push him into her. He bucked back and she softened. He came forward, keeping the rhythm of his fingers constant and focused as her arousal soaked his fingertips. Each stroke was an expression of delicious, deliberate friction, and they built upon one another. She pulled her mouth away from his, and her eyes were heavy-lidded with pleasure.
‘Can I come?’ she said.
He smiled and shook his head. His fingers found a spot which made her gasp and lean forward, palms to the wall as she squeezed out a plea for permission.
‘No.’ he said.
She shuddered and whimpered as she pulsied over his fingers. She pleaded with him and he denied her, knowing the anticipation was becoming unbearable and revelling in the power of being able to test her through his actions and their consequences.
After her third request, he put his mouth to her ear and made her ask him again. She babbled through it, shaking with the war she was fighting, on the tightrope of an ecstasy which he took as his due. His fingers were a silken magic trick between her thighs and it was all she could do to hold on.
He told her yes, and she cried out as she clutched for him. She pressed herself against him as she hollered through the pulsing spasms of propulsive delight, her skin alive with the crackling wonder of her orgasm. She felt rather than thought, went into the place within where his hands and body, his words spun her into playful paroxysms of feeling. When the spasms subsided, they held one another in the corner. She kissed him all over his face, gasping and sighing as he enjoyed the febrile waves of heat coming off her. He petted her between her thighs, painting up her navel with her own juices as they kissed and murmured to one another.
‘I feel so much better now.’ she said.
He kissed her on the forehead.
‘Good.’ he said.
She glanced up at him and smiled as she stroked his face.
‘Thank you. I’m going to get those pages finished. You can get the washing in.’ she said.
He grimaced and asked her why. She smiled and kissed him again.
‘It looks like rain.’ she said.
My fingers close on your jaw, firm but gentle as you try to look away. The space between us seethes with unspoken tension and my voice, when it comes, is a bass growl. The sight of you calls out a playful dominance in me.
‘You’re mine, baby girl.’
You quiver, but my arm around your waist holds you firm as your legs shake.
A finger brushes over your lips. An intense curiosity comes over me. My mouth moves to your ear, the soft brush of my beard is reassuring against your cheek and my voice travels through you.
‘Have you been a good girl?’
You nod. My fingers slide down either side of your neck where they squeeze. Your pulse is fast and hard against my grip. You whimper as I squeeze, whilst I stare into your eyes.
‘Are you sure?’
You shake your head and I growl, drawing close.
‘I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ve tried to be good.’
You confess you’ve been touching yourself without permission. My mouth is dry with lust, controlled but ragged by how aroused I am.
My right hand unbuttons the front of your jeans. You try to pull back but my hand on your throat holds you in place. The heat comes off you in waves, and I stroke the soft, warm skin of your stomach then let my fingertips graze over the silk of your panties. The dichotomy of dominance and the gentle, playful way I touch you inform each moment. Here, flushed with arousal, we slip off the yoke of responsibility and obligation in favour of playing with one another.
I slip my fingers inside your panties and graze them over the warm curve of your pussy.
No, my pussy. You shiver as I massage you in slow, careful circles and enjoy the damp heat which gathers at my touch.
‘Whose pussy is this?’
You gasp and push your hips towards me. Desire glazes your eyes, and each stroke of my fingers draws out thunderclouds of a want across the sky of your eyes.
You whimper and my fingers find your clit, throbbing and erect as you shudder and lean back, liquefying by degrees. You give a small, wry smile.
‘I know what you’re doing, Daddy.’
Without losing my rhythm, I let go of your throat and bring my hand to the hair on the back of your head and twist it between my fingers. You make a small cry from the back of your throat and I continue to stroke you as you look at me.
You clutch at me, whimpering as my fingers move against your tender, sopping flesh. Your thighs open and your head goes back.
‘Remember to ask permission.’
A choked cry escapes between your gritted teeth and my grip on your hair tightens as I growl at you to look at me.
The world has reduced to sensation and attention. Beneath my fingers, you’re soaking wet and the electric glide of flesh makes me careful and inventive. I use the ball of my thumb against your clit whilst I hook a finger up and massage the rough pad of flesh at the top of my pussy. You moan, sweet and low, as you ask permission to come.
You buck against me but I laugh it off as I lean forwards.
‘This happens when you disobey me.’
My brooding eyes lock with yours as flashes of savage pleasure twist through you as the blood rushes to your skin.
You tell me you’re sorry, over and over.
Flushed and quivering with abandon, you ask and I refuse. You are lost to the power of my touch, and what it evokes within you. It focuses every inch of you on my fingers, between your legs and at the back of your head. Here, you are safe to take flight within yourself, despite my prohibition.
I deny you for a third time. Something forces you to let go. Your nails dig into the meat of my shoulders as you cry out, flooding my fingers with a gushing, deep warmth.
I watch your face, tears beading in the corners of your eyes and press my palm against my pussy, grounding you to the moment as you hold on sobbing with relief.
‘Thank you, Daddy.’
I stroke your hair. I’m silent, letting my touch speak to the tenderness you inspire. I keep you close, feeling your heart thumping in your chest as you squeeze against me. You fit into me, a heated, tearful complement and penitent enough I forgive your transgression. You whisper into my ear.
‘Daddy, I want you inside me.’
You unbuckle my belt, and I slide my jeans off my legs as you wrap your fingers around the shaft of my cock as we kiss. Your lips close around my tongue and you suckle it, moaning at the surprising joy as I tug down your underwear and jeans until they’re in a tangle around your ankles. Pure need has you turned around, with your firm, pale buttocks offered. I take the head of my cock and guide it between your thighs. The contact makes me sigh and you lift your hips to take me inside you. The taut, molten river of my pussy welcomes me. There are tentative strokes, adjustments made like an unconscious list of demands, drives given control and made urgent by the need for release.
I chase the oblivion in hard, fierce strokes pushing you against the counter as I make it hurt in the ways we both need. Lost in the wonder of your flesh, I pull your hair and thrust into you with a rapid, muscular violence as we lock into a tight, fierce knot of slapping bodies and whatever noises escape the inexorable gravity of our desire.
‘I‘m going to come, baby girl.’
She reaches back for me, urging me deeper.
There is no finesse but there is grace in how the orgasm breaks me over its knee, spurting and spilling inside you with a force which makes my eyes roll back in my head. You push back against me, keeping every drop of me inside you with a junkie’s need. This chemical connection made flesh brings out something animal. Free of shame and awkwardness. I lean forwards, bringing my arms around you, breathing you in like smoke as you chuckle with delight.
‘You’re such a bad Daddy.’
Your voice is a low, smoky rasp as I kiss you on the cheek and tell you I know.
Chaos creeps in by degrees.
Within the dormitory, murmurs of disappointment, punctuated by outbursts of frustration, shrill and sharp from the women who have found their appointments cancelled without warning.
The men’s section is more overt in their disapproval. The clatter of things thrown to the ground. Conversations become arguments.
Arguments become fights.
The ambient tension makes your stomach ache. Your palms are damp and your lips are tender from where you last kissed Daddy and you feel a pleasurable ache with each step.
Waiting is the worst part.
It always is, isn’t it?
The warm, rough memory of his hands. His mouth. His voice.
You have never felt so captive as when you are on the verge of freedom. Daddy offers it to you in glimpses, a myriad of sensations which rub you raw and make you strong at the same time.
Staring at the surrounding air, you imagine the spread of tiny machines, fuelled by your orgasm as they investigate and undermine the surrounding systems.
Ingrid comes back one afternoon, with reddened skin over the knuckles on her right hand. You ask what’s wrong and she grimaces.
‘They had this guy tickling me. One of my hard limits.’
She flexes the fingers of her right hand and winces.
‘Funny thing was, being punched in the face happened to be one of his.’
You shudder, fighting the complicity you feel in what has happened to her.
She smiles and tilts her head to one side.
‘Oh it turned out all right. Snafu in the records, and they made it up.’
When you ask her how, her eyes gleam with delight, glazed over with a surplus of post-coital languor.
‘Plus there’s something about a man who fucks you knowing you could kick his ass anytime.’
You laugh with her, relieved not to be an accomplice to someone’s humiliation.
‘I can be soft with him.’
Ingrid raises her eyebrows.
‘Who do you mean?’
A warmth creeps up your throat and your lips tingle with the association.
She whistles under her breath and shakes her head.
‘What does he look like?’
The question is a fish hook in your stomach. You describe him in broad strokes, torn between wanting to share and the fear she might have been subject to his will.
Ingrid frowns and shakes her head.
‘Never met him. He sounds good though.’
He is, you tell her. A pang of absence washes the fish hook away and you lower your eyes, desperate to hide what you are feeling. Ingrid has a habit of reducing situations to a point where you feel silly for even mentioning your feelings.
She smiles at you and touches your cheek. She tells you it will be okay.
You touch her hand and look into her eyes before she tells you she will sleep.
You wear a peach baby doll nightie with French silk panties in peach and stockings. There is a small black velvet choker and chunky peach and pink rockabilly shoes with a small heel. Your hair is in a chignon and when you see your reflection, you smile with delight at how you look. Life has offered you a glimpse of this which you ought to bring into reality and you see her in the full length mirror. Daddy has chosen these items with care, and the silken kiss of the material comes direct from him. He touches you without touching you and in his instruction, you find a freedom which unsettles you with its possibility.
The LEDs flash in different patterns. A jagged randomness which leaves swatches of darkness ahead but you carry on, stopping at each door. They don’t respond to your palm so you keep going, grateful not to interrupt someone else’s session without cause.
The right door opens with a sigh you feel in your bones.
He’s arranged for the office setting. The coffee station where you messed up his order and he put you over his knee. Your skin burns with the memory and when he looks up from the book he’s reading, your heart punches against your ribs.
He glances around before he clicks his fingers and the air shimmers around you, like the inside of a snow globe.
‘We can talk now, baby girl.’
You run to him as he stands up, opening his arms as you wrap yourself around him and cling hard. You rest your cheek against his chest and close your eyes, drinking him into your senses. He runs his hand down your back and strokes the skin between your shoulder blades.
‘I’m not dressed for the office, Daddy.’
He chuckles and lifts your chin with his finger, brushes his lips over yours and it melts your insides into soup with its careful, glittering expertise. You sigh into his mouth and press yourself against him, enjoying the planes of his chest against you. He is safety and danger, play and action and he sighs with a quiet delight in how you hold onto him. The kiss lasts as long as you can breathe, and you pull backwards, your face burning and eyes damp with emotion.
‘How are we supposed to pretend this is all just normal?’
He grins and cups his face in your hands.
‘Because we’re working towards something here, baby girl. I’ve got back doors in most of the systems but I need to wait for the next cycle of updates to cover our tracks enough to escape.’
Escape. An involuntary shudder twists within you. It is difficult, in the moments before surrender, to keep still around Daddy. He gazes into your eyes and comes forward to kiss you again. You raise up on your toes and touch the stubble on his cheeks, enjoying the rasp against your fingertips and already thinking about your face will burn with irritation afterwards.
‘So what we do in the meantime?’
He leans into your space and his fingers rest against your throat, giving a light squeeze which makes your thoughts swoon and carouse in your skull. His eyes shine with desire as you gasp around his tongue in your mouth. He moves it in soft stabs, never jamming it with over eager clumsiness but the deliberate and informed play of muscles, lips and tongue working in concert. His kisses fill you with light.
He eases his grip after a few seconds and the rush of function makes your knees hollow but you keep your hands on his arms as he draws back and looks at you.
A look of lust so intense crosses his face it frightens and thrills you in equal measure. The air has a tang to it, which sits like whiskey and milk on your tongue, the memory of metals and his skin all mingle together. You reach up and put his hand back on your throat. Arousal has your tongue between its teeth and you stare back at him, willing him to test you.
His fingers insist against your throat, a confident placement which cuts the blood supply for a moment before he eases the pressure without removing his grip. He leans forwards and rests his forehead against yours.
‘Sometimes baby girl, I want you so fucking much, I could tear you apart.’
You go to kiss him but he draws back, screwing up his face in mock-indignation and shaking his head.
‘Don’t be so eager, baby girl.’
You whine his name and he gives a soft, knowing chuckle. His left hand remains at your throat whilst he traces small circles over your collarbone. The static snap of his touch travels under your skin, makes the roof of your mouth prickle and your tongue swell in your mouth.
‘Whining has no hold on me.’
His voice is playful, but the firm edge of it dives in after his touch and you shiver. You go to speak but his fingers close on your arteries and cut your words off. His right hand strokes downwards, idling against the silk before he smooths the ball of his right thumb over your left nipple. The contact sends a delicious ache down your spine as he traces around the stiffening peak of flesh. He squeezes it between his thumb and forefinger, hard enough to make you feel it before he repeats the gesture with the other one.
‘Sometimes, baby girl, I want to just play with you. Use you.’
Your pulse quickens and you step forward, but his left hand holds you in place. His gaze is dark with a rippling, agile lust which excites you in its openness.
You clench your thighs together as a burst of arousal wells up inside you, thick and warm oils trickling down into the crotch of your panties.
He moves his hand down, plucking the hem of your nightie upwards in a practiced flick of his wrist before his fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear. You are ready for him, his touch remains as insistent and exciting as ever as he strokes the smooth, warm skin around it. His fingers follow the curve of your pussy before he massages you in a slow semi-circle, drawing your labia apart with the care a butterfly emerges from a chrysalis. The tip of his index finger dips inside you and you cry out as the sensation travels up your body in a thick, insistent wave of pleasure. He withdraws the finger and strokes upwards, delicate and controlled as he strokes across your throbbing clitoris.
His left hand closes around your throat, careful not to restrict your windpipe as his fingers close off the blood supply in a slow squeeze. The restriction becomes a storm front of sensation, crashing against the tongues of sweet fire lapping upwards. Trembling, you reach out and pull at him, seeking the stern reassurance of his body against yours as each stroke builds upon the last. His touch is intent but careful, a surgical artistry as the sensation swells up inside you, pneumatic and bubbling like lava before he eases his grip. The rush of oxygen is fuel on the fire he is teasing from you with his fingers. A primal instruction wells up on your lips.
He gives a hard grin and shakes his head.
‘No baby girl.’
Your limbs shudder with revelation as you push against him, almost wrestling but not to extricate yourself.
You crave contact, the divine surrender of your constant dance of change versus the solid, implacable column of his will. The hot pressure of your impending orgasm, made wild and furious by his hands roars upwards and you squeeze out tears as you babble pleas for his permission.
‘Please Daddy, can I come?’
He grunts in the negative and his upper lip curls in a snarl as he keeps the rhythm of his right hand constant and presses his fingers against your arteries. Your thoughts lose coherence for a second, and in the gap between consciousness and release, your body imposes itself upon the moment and your orgasm tests the limits of your obedience as you plead. Hot tears well up and trickle down your face as you buckle forwards, wrapping your ankles around his calf as he massages your soaked, pulsing pussy.
You ask him again.
He shakes his head.
He squeezes your throat again and you sob with a savage joy as your pleas gain speed but lose coherence. Their velocity does not change his mind nor slow down the inexorable pace of his fingers against you. You will fail against his will, and not as an act of submission, but surrender. A carnal faith asserts itself and burns the scales from over your eyes with its brightness. You cling to him, hard and scream with the utter pleasure of it as he eases the grip and your body floods with orgasm, pushed outwards by your breath.
He does not pull away and you rasp you are ready to come again. His fingers continue and you ask him for permission again.
He grins and nods. There is no gap between his permission and your reaction as a second orgasm barrels through you. It takes a tremendous amount of will not to collapse, but you lean forwards and he supports your weight as you become a vessel for something feral and divine.
There isn’t time to ask for permission for the third and you are speechless before the unyielding power of his hands and eyes.
The last conscious memory is how he sweeps you up into his arms, his hand stroking your hair and telling you to breathe. You are a weeping riot, attuned and sensitive to every whorl and eddy of the air around you but the strength within you brooks no argument.
He holds you and you nuzzle against the hollow in his throat and squeeze him with whatever strength you have left. Your throat is tender from his grip and your thighs are soaked from the juices of your arousal whilst perspiration glues the nightie to your back.
‘You took it like a good girl.’
You try to speak but the words fall, useless from your lips so you hold onto him and he kisses the top of your head.
‘Daddy, when we’re out, will it be like this?’
He lifts your face to his, kisses you in the way which turns your bones to jelly and rubs your nose with his. Your lips and cheeks burn from the stubble but it’s a glorious feeling. A badge of honour you wear with pride.
‘No, baby girl.’
You’re shocked but his smile is easy and he shakes his head.
‘It’ll be better.’
If you took one of the red gelatine capsules and pulled it apart, you would find nothing inside. The capsules are the smallest size available. They hold a capacity for 200mg, but for what Daddy is hoping to achieve, is almost infinite.
A nanobot is a robot in miniature. They measure 1000th of a micron, which is a 1000th of a milligram or millimetre. There were 2000000 of them inside each capsule.
Each of them performs a series of specific tasks. They remained inert, floating in your bloodstream until a series of binary instructions,starting with a slap on a new-born’s ass.
Your orgasm when Daddy put his hand inside you was the catalyst.
The machines awoke, working to a set of instructions and moved out through your pores into the air and reproduced. They formed duplicates from the atoms around them and hung suspended in the air around you as Daddy held you in his arms, an invisible web of perfect purpose.
Their inertia was deliberate. Each of them held half of a series of commands, in themselves random and illogical strings of numbers, unless the other half of the equation applies to them.
The inert machines which live inside Daddy require an orgasm to kick start their engines, each of them holding half of the equation. No code is original, and the best ones steal from other, older programs to save time and make it more effective.
When you ask him what consequences he faces if he’s caught, he doesn’t tell you but he struggles to meet your gaze as he bites the inside of his cheek.
He takes your hands in his and kisses you, soft and gentle lips pressed against yours as his hands stroke along the pulse of your throat.
‘Traffic light?’ you say.
He grins and kisses you again.
‘Green, baby girl.’
You smile and gaze into his eyes.
‘Do I have permission to touch you, Daddy?’
He grins and sits on the couch, still warm from where you writhed with pleasure, both altar and goddess. He tells you yes. The permission is everything for you, not from weakness but from the strength to remain sourced in your surrender. To be acted upon, to channel the nurturing, wild feminine within you and have it flourish in your own liberation, temporal, spiritual and physical.
You tell him to lay back, straddling his shins as you run your fingers up the hard, furred planes of his stomach. The hair is soft beneath your fingertips set on a bed of taut muscle and he shudders with anticipation as you sigh with a deep, primal delight. You move your hands over his pectorals, pushing against the bars through his nipples and tugging on them with a light, deft pinch as he lifts his hips against you. You reach for the fly and your fingers shake with a nervy, ribald anticipation as you stroke the outline of his cock through the material where it lays to the left. He gazes into your eyes, letting you see his want and nerves firing and mingling within him. The teeth of his zipper part by degrees, the deliberate ease reflecting the portentous weight of the moment between you. The exchange of power between you has guided and nurtured you. Beneath his hands, Daddy has broken and rebuilt you, time and again, freeing you to take flight within yourself, away from the harsh light of reality.
There is adoration in his eyes as you reach into his fly and trace your fingers along his cock through his underwear. You raise yourself on your knees and lean forwards, tugging his trousers and underwear down as you hold his cock in your hands. Warm and febrile against your palm, it is an iron bar swathed in velvet, pulsing with arousal as you squeeze him there. You draw his foreskin back, teasing him with slow, limited strokes as you feel the pulse of his desire respond in time with your will. He asks you to raise up as he kicks off his trousers and underwear. You look to the bottle of lubricant, then back at him and he nods as you reach out to your right and grab the bottle. You upturn it and squirt a thick dollop of lubricant into the palm of your hand and apply a thick, even layer before you wrap your left hand around the base of his cock and with a worshipful regard, ease his foreskin downwards to uncover the swollen, glistening head of his cock.
You splay the fingers of your right hand, and lower your palm just above the engorged head of his cock. You brush your palm over the head in a light circling motion. He gasps and you stop but he nods his head, telling you to continue in a voice thick with awe and emotion. You massage the head of his cock with delicate brushes, adjusting your contact in line with his expression. His face is tight and he trembles against the power of your touch. It is intoxicating to have this power over him and how he gives it to you from a place of strength. He struggles to rein in his reactions, the increased sensitivity in his glans charging an impending orgasm which is yours to draw from him.
You take your left hand and stroke the puckered, tight skin of his scrotum, the swollen testicles throbbing at your touch as he growls with pleasure. His body is a perfect study in tension, muscles straining against his dark, furred skin. You circle your palm as you massage his testicles in small circular motions and the pumping pulse of his arousal grows in pace and rhythm. His cock is erect and throbbing, he trembles and there are tears in his eyes as he lays there, shuddering with the force of his arousal.
His voice is a rough whisper, punctuated by gasps of delight and you smile as you wrap your left hand around the base of his cock and keep circling your palm over the head as you massage him towards completion.
He bucks hard, back arching and hips punching upwards as you feel him shoot thick, hot come against the palm of your hand. The gelid, white strings of semen splash against your skin like egg whites and he comes in thick, powerful spurts as he cries out in an unhinged, animal roar of pleasure. You lick your palm clean, craving the texture and sweetness of his come as you gulp it down, the faint ammoniac smell contrasting with the sweetness and thickness of it on your tongue. You swallow it down and exhale.
On your breath, the legions of machines, given life by his orgasm and information by yours fly into the air and you come up to hold him. He is flushed, eyes sparkling and mouth hung open. He does not move and his eyes stare out at nothing. You fight a sharp spike of fear which punches through your triumph as you rush to reassure him.
You say his name and he runs his tongue over his lips, before he gives a slow blink and you touch his cheek with your left hand.
‘Are you okay, Daddy?’
He nods, pulling you close and squeezing his eyes shut as he holds you. Being this close allows you to feel the subtle shuddering of his body and the hot splash of tears as he breathes in, deep and rasping as he holds you tight.
‘Yes, I am.’
You kiss him in pairs, one soft press of your lips against his face followed by a short, almost perfunctory kiss to finish it, the way you would place a period at the end of a sentence. You don’t want to leave him like this, but you’re aware the next stage requires theatrical separation whilst your actions weave their way through the software and hardware which allows Sir’s control of the world you inhabit.
He looks deep into your eyes.
‘When it falls apart, I will come find you.’
A brutal spasm of fearful, pre-emptive grief twists inside you but he shakes your head and pulls you tight.
He puts his mouth to your ear, tells you he loves you. You tell him back and he kisses you on the side of your head, tells you to be brave.
You leave, sticky and frightened, watching the lights which lead you back to your dormitory.
Waiting for things to fail.
You experience snatches of him in dreams.
The salt of his skin, suffused with coffee and bergamot taunts you as it wells up in your sinuses and across your lips.
His weight, held above you, used in service to open you up. You play the brat with him, alternating between coquette and little and in dreams, the heat follows you into your waking moments.
There are moments where the quiet press of his rough, strong fingers stroke you into wakefulness and you come to, gasping and tender with the memory blooming in the soft, damp places on your body.
There are no sessions assigned to you. He keeps contact to a message on the hidden phone between you.
You are in the queue for the cafeteria when you feel the cautious brush of something being pressed into your palm. Two red gelatine capsules.
Daddy tells you to swallow them, chase them down with water. They taste of nothing but the virtue of following his instructions but sweet.
Large swatches of intense silence, fertile ground for creatures borne from doubt and anxiety, their teeth glistening in the dark, ready to bite into your fragile hopes. There are perfect neural storms of ecstasy, heightened by his control of your breath or your nerves by the sting of his hands against your skin or the handful of hair he takes as he drives his uncut cock inside you in slow, hard strokes. You open to him, and the recollection of how his face grows grave in the approach to his own pleasure makes you clench with delight.
There is a grey fuzziness to your thoughts, and the bed sheets are damp and hot from the unconscious conflict of the night before
Showering is blissful, your skin tingles with the youthful violence of purpose, making you soft and slick as you dress in a peach and scarlet baby doll nightie and thigh highs. You dry and brush out your hair before plaiting it into pigtails. A red velvet choker on a velour display case and you place it around your neck with trembling hands.
Surrender is freedom and when he tests you, despite the gentility of his manner, he allows you to test without fear of offending him. You are wearing clothes which feel little, soft and luxurious against your skin. He dresses you to please him. The fluffy mules are an amusing touch, demonstration of how he pays attention to the flamboyance within you.
The door opens onto the four poster bed. There are Velcro cuff restraints set to each corner and a small table with a lacquered wooden box on top.
Daddy has on a crisp white shirt, rolled to the sleeves over his thick, vascular forearms. His cheeks and chin are dark with stubble as he lifts his chin to appraise you.
You flush with pleasure at the sight of him and the preparations he has made.
He tells you to come forward and you scamper into his arms. You press yourself against his broad chest as his hands slip down your back and lock you into his embrace as you bring your arms around him. The solidity of him is a relief, unspoken certainties to alleviate the anxiety present in the thickness of his thighs and the burn of stubble where his cheek rests against yours. His lips, soft and full brush over yours and you whimper with anticipation as his fingers bite into your flesh. He makes his need apparent through his actions and the soft, rough play of his lips and tongue against yours. When you draw back, your head is swimming, intoxicated and open to his authority, sourced in nurturing and surrender.
You take his hand as he guides you onto the bed. A restless heat seethes between your thighs, the oil of anticipation slick against your skin as he lays you down and tells you to extend your arms and legs.
‘What are you going to do, Daddy?’
He leans over, his eyes are dark with complicated lust. You recall, from a book you browsed through, of how intelligence is a comfort and acceptance with ambiguity and nuance. You surrender to this man, but the power you receive is gigantic, a transformative excitement where you are soft and bold in the same instant.
Fingers close on your left nipple through the silk and tweak between thumb and forefinger, a light but insistent gesture to draw sensation to you. The bright flare of ache surges down your spine into your pelvis, mitigated by the cool damp breath of silk against your breast. He repeats the gesture with the other one and leans over to kiss you on the lips. He goes to the table and opens the book, lifting a pair of small silver clamps with tiny chains dangling from each one and showing them to you.
He strokes your thigh with his left hand, growling with anticipation as he draws upwards, lifting the hem of the nightie over your stomach and stroking the soft skin with a delicacy which makes you shiver. He bends over, an animal in feeding and takes your nipple between his lips, making it stiff with a wet, suckling heat before he stands up and pinches it, slipping on a clamp to keep it stiff and tingling. He grins and leans over, licks across the nipple with a deft swipe of his tongue which makes you arch your back. The tension builds as he repeats the action with your other breast and pulls the nightie down. You squeeze your thighs together, sending a burst of heated, tingling pressure through your stomach as your body responds to him faster than your thoughts.
The restraints are applied with care as he pets you, talking you through your nerves, not to abate them but to harness them to your pleasure.
He has the power to hurt you, but it is a power you give him and he respects it without reservation.
Your arms and legs are held out, but he checks and asks you to make a fist then splay your fingers, checking for any pressures of constriction which might accumulate during your time together.
He stands to your right and applies an amber lubricant from a pump dispenser onto his hands in an even layer.
He uses his left hand to tug on your pubic mound between his thumb and forefinger, with the ball of his thumb resting next to, but not on your clitoris. The slick pressure invites a whimper from you as he grazes it in a small lazy circle. He bends his right hand at the wrist and strokes between your labia in small, direct motions which allow you to experience a slow penetrative advance as he presses the tip of his index finger inside you. The competing sensations of restraint and exploration gather, pleasure’s collaborators at work inside you.
Your aching nipples, sending shivers through you with each brush of silk.
The restraints, snug but firm holding you in place, unable to move beyond a range of motion which keeps blood flowing to your limbs.
His hands, moulding, breaking, insisting between your legs. His breathing deepens and you close your eyes as the pleasure grows, gathering in subtle brushes of delight as he brings another finger into play inside you.
Two fingers now, moving back and forth, gaining depth on a glacial pace.
The slow pace is torture, making you sensitive to each eddy and motion as you close your eyes and sigh with pleasure.
‘Who’s my good girl?’
You struggle to answer, your thoughts frolic in an ocean of sensation but when he inserts a third finger, you cry out against the fullness and he has you check in.
Green. He smiles and asks if you’re ready for more.
He smiles and reaches with his left hand for the box, draws out a small, conical plug with a gem set into one end. It is devoid of edges and he applies a layer of lubricant to it. He tells you to lift your hips as he draws your buttocks apart and strokes the tender, tingling knot of your ass. He draws the plug around it and you close your eyes again, sighing as you exhale against it. The pressure is immediate but not unwelcome as Daddy understands how you like to be full. He checks in with you again and you tell him green.
When he eases a third finger inside, you gasp and buck a little, breathing a little faster against the power of his fingers and plug. In your surrender, you are open to him, and his exploration of your depths, your capacities for pleasure is inventive, but as the pressure builds, you marvel at how he does not mould you to an ideal in his head, but draw upon whatever is there, waiting to be nurtured.
He returns his left hand to your clit, drawing back the hood and stroking it with a fingertip as he bunches the fingers of his right hand together into a blunt triangle and eases them inside you.
You cry out and he checks in with you.
‘Your hand’s inside me, Daddy.’
The fullness is not unkind, but it is insistent. He does not move his right hand, telling you to breathe in a voice gruff and low with excitement as he massages your clit with his fingers. Each time you clench, it sends a roaring blast of sensation through your body, flooding every limb with the impending surge of orgasm.
You try to speak but you are incoherent. He gazes at you as you flex your fingers three times to denote you are still present with this.
‘Do you want to come baby girl?’
You nod, growing warm and sweat as the pressure builds. It has a power which came from everything outside you, the pushing of your limits being an action of tremendous transformation. Your clit throbs in time with your heartbeat as he keeps his strokes light, allowing the pressure and fullness to fuel your transformation.
‘I give you permission.’
You whimper, then cry out. Past caring how it looks to anyone as you buck around his hand inside you, the plug inserted into your ass and his firm, warm control of your body. Perspiration gathers at your hairline, the small of your back and thighs are slick as you writhe underneath the direction of his will.
It arrives in slow, pulsing waves and you go into yourself, each nerve and pore bursts with a delightful, terrible release. Your eyes well up with tears and when you cry out, your ears ring with the volume as you surrender to it.
Torn apart with pleasure and rebuilt in the same instant as he fucks you with his whole hand. Your vision wavers and you black out for a second, squeezing around the enormous pressure of his hand inside you, tested to a capacity you once considered beyond your imagining.
He keeps his hand inside you as he reaches up and strokes your face. His fingers are slick and warm, perfumed with your sex as he whispers reassurances to you. He moves his right hand out with the glacial pace of dance or kata before he comes up and unties you. You sag against him as he bundles you into his arms and crushes you against him.
He holds you in his arms as you tremble with the aftermath, consumed with the descent into absence and vulnerable beyond words.
‘You did good, baby girl.’
You remember the process he explained. How it would work in two parts. Through your surrender, the courage to explore yourself beneath his tender authority you have fulfilled your part.
Now it is his turn.
Since you have been apart, he messages you once a day. Sometimes you torture yourself in waiting to check it, but you have to practice a kind of discipline different from what you share with Daddy. Still, the urgency makes the sudden, soaring delight as you read his words all the more intense.
You read them in his voice, sat on the John and hoping no one peers over the cubicle door. Your legs shake with the repressed nerves, all of it building to the moment where you would be His again.
You cannot get enough of it.
The phone lies hidden under your pillow. You go to the shower room and find a red and black nightgown on a hanger with red hold ups. There is makeup, a pair of earrings set on a black velvet pillow and a small bottle of scent. You apply it behind your ears and at the back of your knees as per the typewritten set of instructions. You shudder with excitement and anticipation at the thought of it. Of Him.
You follow the lights, but if it were not for the change in location, you would make your way there by the slow yet acute pull of desire you have for him. You ask yourself if any of this is real, and it makes you ache for him all the more.
You stand at the door, press your palm against the lock and the door opens inwards.
He strides over to you, and his hands are on you, his arms around you with enough force you cannot breathe. You grin beneath the kiss he plants on your lips and you reach to run your fingers around his waist. You are little in his embrace. His strength holds you in place as your mouths explore one another.
He grins and touches your cheek. His eyes are lit from within at the sight, the touch, the smell of you.
‘I’ve missed you.’
A bright warmth arises in your cheeks, and you press against his hand where it rests against your face.
‘I’ve missed you too.’
A flicker of dark yearning crosses his eyes, like the shimmer of moonlight on water for a moment.
‘And you’ve been good with the phone.’
You smile and his fingers glide over the back of your hair. He stares into you with such feeling it takes your breath away.
‘I love hearing from you, Daddy. I know I’m not supposed to.’
He cocked his head to one side and smiled at me. A doting smile as he strokes your hair away from your face.
‘I made that decision, baby girl. It’s what a Daddy does.’
You glance around and he shakes his head.
‘No one listens. I insist upon discretion when I am with you.’
You grin and move towards him. He takes a firm grip of your hair and you stop, as he straightens up and takes a deep, hungry breath.
‘When I have you, baby girl.’
He swallows, his chest rising with some elemental depth of emotion inside him.
‘I want you so fucking much I could crush you with it.’
He turns you around with his hand on your hair. He brings his mouth to your ear and the warmth of his breath makes you shiver. Amidst the everyday, it was the promise of moments, of a man like this. He offered glimpses of his sweetness, but it was not without depth.
There is a couch in the corner of the room. He lets go of your hair and tells you to lie down. His eyes blaze with feeling, a midnight fire in a forest at autumn.
‘I will tear you apart with pleasure, baby girl.’
Your heart pounds in your chest and your skin tingles with anticipation.
These are vehicles for a nurturing that resists the cage of words and thoughts. Purest, the darkest feeling that sings you awake sometimes. Those nights are when you sneak the phone into the bathroom and read his messages. They all feed into these times with him.
He walks towards the set of drawers, finds three lengths of velvet rope and comes over to you. He tells you to lift your arms above your head and he sighs with pleasure. This is a glorious play within a ritual. It resists lassitude in its power and his approval reflects your arousal into you. He tells you to open your legs and rest them either side of the couch. He moves a small pillow under your ass and comes around to bind your wrists.
‘You’re such a good girl.’ he says.
You tingle with approval. He makes you feel light and free, contained and devoted in the same moment.
The leather of the couch is warm beneath your back. You test your bonds and he shakes his head.
‘You’re not getting away from me, baby girl.’
You giggle and raise your eyebrows.
‘I could get out anytime I wanted, Daddy.’
He comes and touches your face.
‘You don’t want to do that.’
His voice has lowered, the muscles in his face taut with a regal delight.
‘This is where you belong. With me.’
Your eyes prickle with the onset of tears.
‘What are you going to do Daddy?’
He kisses you, his soft lips grazing over yours. There is a trembling he keeps at bay. You recall these afterwards, when you replay the things he has done with you, that he will do to you. It is not a pain he holds at bay, but a depth of feeling kept under control.
He pinches your right nipple between his fingers with a slow, confident squeeze. The hurt is quick and energising. You arch your back as he pushes open your thighs with one hand then smacks your pussy. You gasp and your eyes widen with the energy of it. Your whole body becomes the feather on an angel’s wing. He does it again, and your eyes moisten with the onset of tears. The release is beginning inside you, lending a sensitivity of deep, deliberate beauty to your senses.
He walks back towards the chest of drawers. His back is to you and you hear the slide of the drawers opening. He reaches out and pulls a wheeled table to him.
‘Now what to choose, baby girl?’
You look and see him place a clear plastic bottle filled with the lubricant he has used before. There is the glint of the soft lights, almost wet against the purple rubber of the dildo. He sets it down next to the lubricant.
He retrieves a small white butt plug, flared at the base whilst looking at you.
‘I will test you today, baby.’
Your breath gains weight in your lungs as he wheels the table over to you.
He squirts lube into his hand, rubbing it into his fingers as he stares into your eyes. He smiles with a primal, controlled excitement. Your pussy is tender from his blows, and you shudder as he massages you in small circles. His eyes move between your face and your pussy as his touch deepens and blooms. Every nerve in your body hums with pleasure at the fullness he gives you, by tiny degrees, raindrops at the start of a thunderstorm.
You relax against his touch. He slips a finger inside you and with his other hand reaches down between the cheeks of your ass and draws his finger downwards in a slow stroke that lifts you off the couch. Between his hands, your first orgasm makes itself known. It is always a sharp pleasure, the relief of a cramp rather than the expansive flowing journeys that your body takes you on.
‘Please Daddy, can I come?’
He shakes his head and you groan with a rising urgency that whips within you.
His smile sets a glow inside your stomach as his fingers move inside you.
You will fail. He tests you with the sweet, expert power of his touch until your will buckles and with it, the need to think anything beyond the raw, powerful call of your own desire. You squeeze your eyes shut at the sweetest, most beautiful failure you will ever know.
You cry out and jerk against your restraints as he strokes you into ecstasy. He presses a warm palm against your navel to ground you as your senses return to you.
He introduces each toy the small lubricated plug he eases into your ass, coaching you to take deep breaths and push out, understanding your body with a firm, almost indifferent ease.
The dildo he uses with the plug, sliding it in shallow stabs he angles against the places that command pleasure from you. He does not work against you, but with you, reading you the way a bird reads the air or a wolf reads the forest.
You lose track of your orgasms, recalling only his hands and his tools against you. You are sodden, tender and wracked with a pleasure that robs you of speech beyond cries and pleas, breathy and sweet in their sweeping, open joy.
He denies and grants permission. His word becomes a refuge and a test of your capacity for surrender. When he wraps you in his arms following a brutal, sustained orgasm that pushes the dildo out of you, you weep and he reaches up and unties you.
Being set free again. It is a language to him and he teaches you, by example and without words.
He kisses you on the forehead before he walks back to the drawer and brings out a small white ovoid device that sits in the palm of his hand.
It will fit inside you. With a message from his phone, it will set up a link that will allow him to send controlled pulses and patterns of vibration. It will serve as a way for him to reach you wherever he is, whatever else he is doing and touch you with his will.
You weep with excitement. He holds you again and leads you to the shower. He undresses and joins you. Without speaking, you wash him before he washes you, looking into one another’s eyes with such depth that you are not sure if it is the series of orgasms or the titanic intimacy of the looks that you share that makes you weak with joy.
It is difficult to leave him. He touches your face. You follow the trail of lights home.
The egg hums and you smile. Only a few feet away and he has to have another taste.
‘Now, let’s see what we can do about that, shall we?’
The hand between your legs begins to move in small, careful circles, the pad of his index finger studious and maddening in how it never quite lands on your throbbing clitoris. Around it, towards it, and each stroke is as deft and light as a breath. The fingertip grazes the tender, aching flesh and you take in deep breaths, looking up at the black ceiling, letting the light blind you with it. The sweet fury of his touch, at Sir’s behest starts to send currents of delicious, incendiary potential down your thighs, nearly fibrillating with the intensity of it. The detached, distracted motion develops before he removes his fingers from between your legs and you find yourself sopping wet. He picks up the sponge again and rinses you off, beneath a deluge of warm, scented water.
‘Would you like me to shave her?’ the guard asks.
He looks at you, the guard, and gives a gentle, almost reassuring smile.
‘Yes, I think that’s a fine idea.’
He walks away from you, his hand grazing along the inside of your thigh a moment too long before he departs. He offers a look of comfort, which is comforting in and of itself, yet has an air of rebellion and discontent to it, here in this place.
He returns with a straight razor, a bowl and a badger hair brush. He places the brush in the bowl and whisks it with a careful turn of his wrist. When he lifts it, thick clots of creamy suds drip lazily off the brush and he applies the lather in slow, careful circles to your groin. The lather is warm, almost luxurious and he ensures that you experience a heavy, damp layer of the shaving cream against your skin. He replaces the brush in the bowl and opens the razor, its edge gleaming in the light. You bite your lip, concerned of the edge against your delicate, throbbing flesh. He leans over and touches your forearm.
‘You can relax. I’ll take care of you.’
The assurance in his words, calm enough to almost be off-hand lowers your heart rate and he uses his left hand to pull the skin taut and lowers the razor to your groin. His strokes are sure and you register the edge of the blade in the abstract. He does not look from his work. He looks into your eyes only when he rinses the flecks of hair and foam from the blade or applies another layer of foam. He works in a breathy silence, and when he brings a soft sponge and wipes everything away, the delicate unshaven skin tingles where it makes contact with the air. You want to crane your head to look but the sensation tells you everything you need to know.
From the darkness, Sir’s voice rings out.
‘Impeccable work, as always.’
The guard gives a nod and wheels the table away. He leaves you a long, lingering look and then disappears into the darkness.
‘You really are quite exquisite between your legs. I almost want to come over and spank it.’
You take in a sharp breath and hear the clop of heels as he walks around.
‘But I can wait for that.’
He claps his hands together.
‘Excellent, I think we can proceed to the next stage now. I will have someone take you along and we will meet again.’
He falls silent and another pair of guards come in and wheel you away. Down a corridor, then their gloved hands loosening your restraints. No one speaks and you are helped up with the care shown an invalid and handed a white gown made from cotton, longer than the hospital johnny you wore initially. On the left breast is sewn a badge with a single number 8.
You are escorted into a larger chamber, where the women and men you were processed with, stand in loose, casual groups. Your heart is pounding in your chest and your knees are weak with adrenaline and excitement. Then you walk in.
We learned to speak in kisses once the need for it robbed us of speech but not a slow ascent into lustful eloquence. My hand would stray underneath the hem of her shirt and i would stroke the skin of her stomach. She would shiver and give a little cry, touching my face and pressing herself against me.
Her legs were draped over mine, my hand resting on her thigh, revelling in the simple act of skin hunger being fed.
She reached to me, stroking down through the hair on my chest and stomach. My cock stirred until she unzipped me, took it between her fingers and bending at the waist, took it slowly into her mouth. I stroked her hair and made fists of it, taking control when she brought me close to my release. We traded kisses, stretching and moving, my head rough with need between her long pale thighs, kissing her there with my tongue until she clenched and released against me, sighing as she clutched at the back of my head. After a refractory period, where we made ourselves drunk with our hands and mouths, she rolled a condom onto my cock and guided me inside her. Her eyes brimmed with tears, and I checked to make sure that she was okay. She nodded firmly and guided me inside her. The friction was delicious in it’s intensity and I balanced my weight on my elbows as I moved inside of her, in careful, gentle thrusts. She curled herself around me, looking into my eyes as she moved with me, growing in her enthusiasm and appetite, as we grew familiar with one another enough that she whispered for me to pull her hair as I fucked her.
Afterwards we laid and watched the shadows on the ceiling, she curled around me, watching me with an intensity that made me smile with affirmation. She opened up The Harry Quebert Affair and passed it to me. Asked in a small, soft voice if I would read to her again.