If you had to invent your version of father, or yours let you down. If you’ve let your children down, then I’m with you.
We project that it’s easy but it isn’t. A lot of it is you give up the time with them. A necessary separation from people you’d die for, to support them. You don’t say anything about it because whining about it doesn’t matter. Yet you look at them and find comfort in having something worth dying for.
For me, my mistakes were in being afraid of them not liking me for making decisions which conflicted with their immediate desires.
I tell them I love them. They know what I mean by that. I’ve tested it but I know it exists and I thrive on it.
No man will tell you how it hurts to miss a moment of their children. How it hurts not to. You’re eternal and disposable in the same moment.
The moments of rage and terror come from your children.