GROOMING AND APPEARANCE

If you wear spectacles, look at getting frames which suit the shape of your face. Contact lens or laser eye surgery will give you a new look. With thicker prescriptions, contact lenses avoid the fish bowl look of magnified lenses.
With bad skin, see your doctor. Later, as we go into diet, there are changes which will result when you make improvements but otherwise look at using a non allergenic soap, adopt a light moisturising routine (coconut oil is good) and drinking water. Acne is a condition which people make jokes about and spread a lot of misconceptions around.

Your teeth look like an abandoned graveyard. Use baking soda or a good whitening toothpaste for thirty seconds with a good toothbrush. An electric one is a good investment. Floss after meals. Drink a lot of water. Use a tongue scraper if your breath can exorcise demons.

There aren’t reasons only excuses not to invest in some time taking care of yourself. It is not about getting into a cosmetics race with anyone, but to make the most of what you have and build upon it. Men who are overweight, unattractive can attract beautiful women but their status and ability to provide comes into play. If you don’t have those things, good health and the appearance of someone who might have those things rewarded to them stands you in better stead with women.

Clothes

We apply principles here.

Clothes are important. You’re not a child so I won’t explain it to you but if you’re striking out with women, then you should look at how you dress. I talk in terms of principles because I don’t want to project my personal prejudices onto your choices.

No slogan or logo t-shirts.

Plain t-shirts and vests in different colours, but if you go black or white, then you won’t go wrong.

Clothes which fit.

Good shoes suitable for formal events and casual and athletic footwear. You can spend a great deal of money on shoes, which is not an alien concept but have a variety.

A suit. Multiple suits if it is part of your look, but at least one good one. Two, as you can have one for formal events and another for work. You can buy off the peg, but if money allows, get one made by a tailor. It will be perfect to your measurements, hide your sins of physique and amplify your better traits.

If it isn’t possible, then at least it will be hard wearing and comfortable.

A leather jacket. a biker one.

These lend you an air of adventure. Think of it like armour if you like. It is important to wear something in line with your overall look and also authentic in its expression.

A denim jacket.

A good, smart sweater. As expensive a material as you can afford. Cashmere. Wool. They can give a smart, educated look when worn over the shoulders or draped around the waist.

Good jeans. Again, another area you should put money into. Indigo or dark jeans, although if it is authentic to your look, a lighter denim can work. If you insist on wearing jeans with the denim jacket, then make sure they are different shades or styles of denim. Having the same material makes you look ridiculous and retro.

Good sunglasses. Nothing extreme sports related. Aviators or Wayfarers.

A good bag or satchel. Go for classic leather or canvas. If you work or enjoy tech, then a solid, black and grey design offers great possibilities. Decaying backpacks with metal badges and stencils will portray you as immature. Look good and smart, to have money or the capacity to make it in large amounts.

Belts. Match the colour of the shoes. Do not clash.

If these details seem odd, then here is another lesson. Women pay attention, testing you and if your lack of grooming is obvious, then it becomes a reason to discount you.

A well-groomed, considered look is good. Women pay attention to everything so we must ensure we carry our authentic masculine identities like medals.

What if you suck?

So, no, don’t ‘just be yourself’. It is a lazy cop out and if it got you women in the past, then you wouldn’t be here reading this, would you?

No, as men, we should work on being the best version of ourselves. It is unnecessary to set impossible goals, but the higher you reach, the better place you will land if you don’t quite reach it.

Give yourself someone to aspire to.

You.