cave

I will be going

Somewhere dark and cool,

Deep in the mountains

High enough

To deter the casual

There, on a bed of stone

I will lay down

Curl up and

Allow myself the depth of

Feeling within me

To seep from my fur

Like pus from an open wound

The light makes it look black

As it pools slow

I remain

Apart, and do not question

How I offer so much

With so little reward

Beyond immediacy

How I have been broken

Renewed but the pieces

Never quite fit the same

I look back at the gilded

Innocence of other days

Envy and resent my naivete

And so I lay here

Counting each breath

Each beat of my heart

Slower

Softer

Than the last