The night off was much needed.
It made tonight’s session move quite smoothly and intently. It’s been three years of serious writing, and now I am at a point that I can bust through two pages and produce something that’s closer to my intentions than before. I am setting up to move them apart so I can get the second act. There wasn’t a great deal of sensuality here, because I want to get down on the page what’s going on then I can expand upon it.
I enjoy capturing the interplay between the two of them but I cannot love it so much that it derails the story. You have to test your characters and I’m not going into some digression about how they’re real, but you’re intuiting as you write. You know your characters better than anything and part of that is wanting to see how they react but then you balance that against the need of the story itself.
I’m at the halfway point now and although this is a move away from the previous books, which makes it daunting as I’m doing things on the page that I haven’t done before but that’s the point. You gain confidence to try and fail at new things. Writing anything bar tweets invites failure and you accept that as part of the process.
I’m wary of being a TED talk style optimist, I love what I do and that doesn’t mean I am any good at it. Yes, I have an agent but that’s no guarantee of success and I hold no sense of entitlement or resentment. I’ve read sublime books that I’ve never heard of. I’ve read books that insulted my intelligence that had their own section in the bookstore, no one knows anything but I know that I love what I do and I work hard at it. What matters is what you draw from my words here. I don’t lie to you or exaggerate about the writing process and the achievements.
Certainly I would say that if you enjoy it, then use that as your armour. No one has the right to steal your joy from you. Whether it’s on here or elsewhere, do it for love. Don’t get ripped off by anyone, don’t let your enthusiasm blind you to the people who would use your enthusiasm and relative naivete to eat first whilst serving you crumbs and telling you it’s a complete meal. I must stress that there are enthusiastic and honest, dedicated people in entertainment though but I wouldn’t warn you against them, my agency are great, passionate and supportive. I hope that you have people like that in your life because you’ll need them. Sometimes your brain gets dry and restless, then you might need the sustenance of feedback to revive you again.