beauty, love, lust, poetry, Uncategorized, women

King of the blank page

I come to you,

The way I come

To the page.

Excited, without guilt,

Informed without being

Burdened by the past,

To make my art without

The grey loops of obligation,

Or the bitter taste of guilt,

No, the patience and

Determination of craft

Heeding the wisdom of

Experience and

Walking the path,

A word at a time,

I appoint myself

King of the blank page,

Leave marks upon

The surface,

Stinging kisses and

The embrace of

My strength,

I take flight with

Each warm word,

Upwards and I ask

Strength to remain

Across the street from fortune,

Stood in a column of sunlight,

Blessed to know where the

Light comes from.

beauty, love, lust, poetry, sex, women

To Write By A Gentle Light

The slow, warm

Rhythms of breath,

Tidal and soothing,

Unabated by the

Day ahead,

Such peace found

In the pockets of 

Gentle silence,

Strong coffee,

A cigarette as the wind exhales

And the notes of snow,

Dance across the grey notations

Of the sky,

The bed calls in response

But undiminished,

Barefoot and armoured,

I caress the blank pages,

A steaming cup left,

Offered as subtle tribute,

There is this,

The work and the force

Of the work,

Rapaciousness harnessed,

Your beauty never stills the flow,

Guides it onwards,

When it turns from my sight,

When it returns,

My eyes meet with yours,

And still gaze

With the same gentle light,

As before.

This world I’ve made for myself

Resists the playful vicissitude,

Come to the solid, supple 

Play of my presence,

A gift offered without caveat,

New depth gained in continuance,

When the work is done,

We go outside and play 

Like children, 

See if I can evoke the peals of

Laughter loud enough

To silence the wind. 

beauty, love, lust, poetry, sex, women

A Heart’s Summer

A damp, cold morning,

It never touches me,

Past the coat,

Some parts of me,

Kept in other places,

Suspended in the amber of


Still, I am certain motion,

Purpose and determination,

No pleas made to the indifferent

Universe because I make

My own world,

I make my way through the rain,

For in my heart,

It is a summer,

Sit with me beneath the


Rest your  cheek against my chest,

Close your eyes,

I wait for you there,

Calm and patient,

Listening to the birdsong,

Sweeter than the rain.

masculinity, men, poetry



If I came home with

Good grades in English and Drama,

He’d sneer and ask why I couldn’t get them in maths,

Made me sit at the table,

Before congealing meals,

Until I finished or mum,

Would intercede,

She left him because of me,

Put herself through hard times,

I’ve never been able to express

How much it meant to me,

I saw him yesterday,

Wizened like a rotten apple,

In a mobility scooter,

I’d long since let go of the anger,

Like taking off shoes a size too small

I said hello and caught the bus

To work,

My life is good now,

And I became all he resented,

And all he was,

I wish him peace because there were

Are other fathers I’ve learned from,

They’re here, when I look in the mirror,

And my mum is fine,

I’ve learned from him,

And I wonder if he saw,

How I met his gaze,

Without anger,

And the way I carried myself,

As I walked on.

If not, it doesn’t matter.

I chose myself and those I love,

Over hating him.


beauty, love, lust, poetry, sex, women


I come to conquer

Not placate,

Quiet within my centre,

Certain, slow hands,

Guided by want,

Denied enough to find no

Injury within it,

My victories are over


And each field of battle,

Becomes a playground,

With a smile,

Coming at you,

With force of intention,

Rough and tense,

As I act from a place of want,

Fight with what you have, 

Test my strength in service of

Filling you to overflowing,

Melting beneath my lips

Callused hands fed by 

Your skin,

Inside you deep and thorough,

I fuck without doubt,

Love without any instructions

Beyond giving them,

Biting and grasping

Until you are wet with defeat,

And we are both elevated

In the joining.

short fiction, women

Episode 29 – Love Is Violence

Previous episodes are here.

She spreads herself wide open to let the insects in

She leaves a trail of honey to show me where she’s been

She has the blood of a reptile just underneath her skin

Seeds from a thousand others drip down from within

Nine Inch Nails, Reptile.



Kelly leapt over the wall and landed in a crouch. Her mandible sliced the air as her eyes adjusted to the twilight and she saw the incandescent streams of information, twisting through the air as shimmering globes of energy rose into the surrounding air.


Her joints throbbed and she exhaled as they elongated and twisted inside her armour. The pressure made her drop onto her stomach and she crawled as her joints reversed and she welcomed the alleviation as she stalked towards the mansion house, mandibles twitching with hunger as she moved towards the source of the streams and globes. In the pit of her stomach, she felt a deep rush of pleasure to explore her new appetite.

Her new flesh.


She saw the young man through the window with a can of soda dangling from his fingers as he spoke into his phone. He laughed and she studied his face, watching as a ball of energy slipped from his forehead into the air. Kelly’s instincts made her turn and snatch a ball of it which drifted past her. He made a face like an emoji. She saw him as something to play with. A whim with teeth coiled around her as she released a burst of cold inquiry through the glass as she crawled forwards.


Her nervous system had sharpened and she sucked in the songs of the world around her, and she knew everything about him.


Eric wore his fears like infected piercings, and his desires were like waking up in damp sheets, pretending to be a feminist and waiting until the women he partied with were passed out drunk. He stuck to soda and he would feel them up in a way which never felt as good anymore. He told himself he never went inside their underwear to justify what he was doing. Some of them have nightmares about it because they don’t want to think it’s him but Eric knows so he’s pretending to show solidarity with women. Certain women.

The lies made his head hurt, but he couldn’t help himself.

It wasn’t enough anymore. He had thought about getting them alone. Condoms were a necessity and he had ordered non-latex condoms ahead of the weekend. Trent would get bored and go home but he’d provide an alibi.


He wanted to do it once. There’s a girl he liked, who trusted him. Talked about her boyfriend, a fucking plumber, and how they kept fighting because he wanted her to stop the protesting. She had no proof of this because he never called her and she believed it, was upset and piss drunk. Eric believed he blended in, by his mewling need for approval. He was safe in the way socks were safe but there were whispers, and he wanted to do it before he got caught.

His parents had money. These things would go away.


It embarrassed his father, Eric thought, but he wanted to do it once.


Kelly found a door and looked up at the alarm system. She saw its processes as veins of information and she scrolled across them, silenced the system with a pinch and shutting off the alarms as she pushed a command into the door and felt the lock turn as she reached out and opened it with a brush of her taloned fingers.


Eric took a lot of photos. He had perfected a look of


He took photos of himself and had asked Trent if he was going to the #metoo march at the weekend. They planned their lives around the anger and pain of women.  He practiced smiling until his face became a mask, and whatever it was which lived within him, drew Kelly to him like a moth to a flame.


She looked up at the ceiling and crawled up the wall, stepped past the framed pictures with a gymnastic grace as she pressed her palms against the ceiling. Minute spines extended and slid into the plaster as she took in a breath and switched his phone off with a thought.


Eric looked at his phone in disbelief. He walked out into the hallway, pouting with irritation as he opened the door. Kelly flexed her thighs and lower back, felt the muscles piston with a rippling power which allowed her to wrap her arms around his neck as her mandibles bit into his temples.


She did not give him time to scream. Through the chitin, she sucked out his thoughts in a swift as he juddered and felt the awful pressure of his skull broken before a sudden, sickening insult of agony and he died between her mandibles. Kelly spat him away and turned around.


There were others here.


A seismic rumble stomped into her perceptions. Something had followed her from the room where she had woken up.


Her first meal was tainted with disappointment as she crawled into Eric’s room.


Its paws thumped against the lawn. Kelly composed a thought of zen violence and sent it towards the hulking, furred thing which came towards her, an engine of bone and fury as it bared sharp, white teeth.

Through the glass, she saw its eyes as the thought sunk into its skull and it fell forwards, flecks of foam launched into the air and it collapsed.


She smashed through the glass as something unnamable drew her forwards. The edges glanced off the armour where her momentum had not pushed her past them as she charged towards it.


Kelly shuddered against the warm bank of consciousness which emerged and she returned to herself as it washed over her.


She inhaled him, the chemical signatures landing on her soul like kisses. Kelly tried to weep as she realised the horror of what she had become. She had returned to herself and her body revolted at the revelation.


The skin on her cheeks tingled and the mandibles drooped as the additional tendons in her jaw popped and they fell from her face. Her joints twisted like God had practiced judo on her before the pain took her away for a second.


Her heightened senses became a perfect aperture to torture. A razored instant of agony as her body warped back into fragile humanity.


Life was pain and even this escape from it had been a different expression of pain.


Kelly peeled the armour off, but the claws had cracked and she had to pluck them off as she looked at her hands and struggled to keep from screaming.


The house lights came on and she reached towards John as she heard someone scream.


She was afraid it was her.


beauty, love, lust, poetry, sex, women

A sweet fight

A knot untying


Gentle without

Being vulnerable

Not prone to


Slow yet urgent,

You dance against me,

And the dark fires

Burn in my bones,

At the spark in your eyes,

I roar with want,

In no race to placate myself?

For the grace and favour,

Of strangers,

Quiet and loud at the same time,

Yet soon you

Will feel my roar

Your juices flowing

As I close the distance,

And you will be full

With my strength,

Kisses fall like kata,

And this sweet fight 

Won before the